Goodbye to Summer

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This is the time of the year when I feel blah. Okay, so it's not the only time when I feel this way... but I am pretty sure it happens every year.

Summer is restorative and joyous... and boring. Yes, I get a chance to read, hang out with my kids, and travel a little bit. I don't have to cram my laundry loads or my grocery runs into the tiny window between work, homework assistance, and precious hours of sleep. Yet the lack of a real schedule ends up creating a lethargy within me that grows stronger each day. Clearly, I would be a terrible stay at home full time mom.

Then I begin to think about heading back into work. Well, more worrying than thinking. Don't get me wrong - I adore what I do. Right before school starts back up, though, I worry. Insomnia, anyone? Tell me you're with me on this one. I've worked with my son on managing his "worry thoughts", so today I'm writing to help me banish my own.

Will administration change things on me in such a way that causes me to massively alter how I serve my population? Yes. This will happen. Administration changes how they feel my services as a gifted support teacher should be provided. It has happened before, and it will happen again. (I sound like an episode of Battlestar Galactica, but I know it is true.) I have survived it before, and I will survive it again. I will do my best within the framework of whatever is required. Isn't that all anyone expects of me? 

How on earth will I make my schedule mesh with the myriad of other schedules in the building? As a resource teacher who supplements the instruction in the classroom, this is a major problem. Yet schedules change every year - and every year I've made it happen. I can do this!

Will I really make a difference for my students this year? Pulling out notes and emails from past students and parents convinces me that I have had an impact in the past. So why do I bite my nails and have sleepless nights over this? 

My nails will survive. My sleep patterns will go back to ... well... I'll always have cycles where I wake up with a jolt in the middle of the night. That's normal, right?

Soon the energy of my students and my own excitement over the things we'll cover this year will sweep me into another joyous school year. I'll be ready.


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