Customer Complaint

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To Whom It May Concern,

I’d like to lodge a formal complaint and request your assistance in addressing a defective unit. Your manufacturing department appears to have missed one vital piece in assembly – the keystone of an otherwise flawless arch. Perhaps someone in your department can help me figure out exactly how to send the defective unit back into the shop for a quick repair?

It seems to be the willpower reservoir. For some reason the human female known as Maria appears to have been assembled with a prohibitively small tank. Either that, or there is a leak in the line. You see, even the tiniest of tasks require small expenditures of that golden elixir known as willpower. When she tries to accomplish bigger goals, the tank runs dry before the finish line. Don’t even get me started on watching her try to juggle between even relatively modest goals. It would be laughable if it weren’t slightly depressing. I’m positive that I ordered the “high potential” model, so this flaw in the design is completely unacceptable.

The rest of the unit seems to be in working order. Other than the extremely long “charge up” time the battery requires. That may just be a side effect of the willpower tank size, though, so I’m willing to take a wait and see attitude on that one.

Please contact me immediately with directions on how to return the unit for repairs.


A dissatisfied customer.


  1. Dear Disatisfied Customer,
    We are sorry to hear about the problems with Maria's willpower malfunction. We can assure you that when she is routinely employed, the will power malfunction will subside. We attribute malfunctions like these to routine distractions available in your area such as Twitter and Facebook. Please let us know after Maria changes to a more routine life if her will power continues malfunctioning!


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