The Stinkbug Scenario

I’m attempting to write every day in March as part of the Slice of Life challenge hosted by Two Writing Teachers. Come on by!

Normally, my room is crawling with stinkbugs.

Well, maybe not crawling. It’s not infested or anything, and there’s no need to notify the health department on my behalf. What I mean is more that, on any given day, there are plenty of chances for me to hear delightful shrieks and watch the burliest and coolest kids jump up and dart away from a teeny tiny harmless little creature. Yes, I do find this enjoyable.

Anyway, this was a day that I actually needed a stinkbug. It was for a photograph; definitely not to use to torment my darling students. Seriously! You see, I wanted to have a picture to include with yesterday’s tale, and it was told from the perspective of a stinkbug in my classroom.

Grinning a bit at the absurdity of it all, I wandered around my classroom in search of a stinkbug. Dead or alive – though dead was preferable. So much easier to pose a dead bug, I’d say. I searched the windowsills, usually a fetid graveyard filled with the corpses of the little critters. Nothing. I searched in the corners of the room, behind the boxes of books that have yet to be unloaded onto my shelves. Nothing.

At this point, I started to panic. It was still prior to the start of the school day, so I began scoping out the halls and other classrooms. I guess you could say that I have a reputation for odd behavior, because not a single teacher asked me what I was doing. After scouring the building, though, I was still bugless.

Disgustedly, I trudged back to the classroom in defeat. As it was only the beginning the day, I refused to give up all hope. Where’s Obi-Wan when you need him?

Wait? What is that I hear? Is that a tell-tale squeal of terror? Sure enough, the first group to pile into my classroom is full of the news of a stinkbug in the hallway. Score! Accompanied by two brave young warrior women, I bolted into the hallway. There it was, the Holy Grail of my day. One perfect, shining example of bugdom.

Gently, carefully, I scooped the cute little guy into my hand. The pitter patter of his little feet tickled my skin. Gently, carefully, I brought him into the classroom. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, I brought him over to my book display. Gently, carefully, I placed him on top of a purposefully selected perch – a biology book.

Working quickly now, I whipped out my iPhone. I needed to nab a few shots before the cute little guy escaped for good. Got it!

My students surrounded me, laughing at my antics. Okay, so maybe I wasted a few precious moments of instructional time, but I swear we got right down to work after that. Laughter is an excellent teacher, so I must be the best.